kwentuhan 2008

The first time I saw you, I knew you were the one. I thought
these things happen only in the movies, you know, pounding heart, the sweaty
hands and the shaky legs…

I was coming out of the theatre and it started pouring heavy
rain so there I was, soaking wet, teeth chattering, freezing cold and then you
came up to me. You looked at me straight in the eye and said, “Need an
umbrella, miss?” You sent me flowers for weeks and said you’d love me forever,
and three months later we were getting married… God, it sounds so stupid. It’s
such a corny romance.

But real life never ends with being what you think it’s
gonna be. You think it’s gonna be one big happy fairytale. And then one day you
wake up in an average little house living an average little life, and the real
dreams are about paying the bills and maybe someday getting a bigger TV, cause
you realize that maybe that wasn’t the life you’ve been dreaming of, you
realize that things could have been different, and maybe I’ll actually gonna
live with all that but then one day it all just stops.

It starts with something small; a little lipstick on the
collar, a few nights when you come home a bit late. At first I tell myself that
I’m crazy, that you would never do such a thing. But just to ease my mind, one
night I followed you as you leave the office, I follow you to the city hotel,
where you meet the girl…and then my whole world falls apart.

I come home, and I cry for hours in the kitchen. I get the
gun from the drawer in the bedroom…and I tell myself that if this is what life
has to offer me, then I can do without.

But then I changed my mind. After all, I’m not the one who’s
cheating.

So, quietly, I wait for you to come home, sitting in my
average, little kitchen. Obviously, when you get home, you don’t expect a thing
so I pressed the fucking against your forehead and I take a few seconds to
watch the fear grow in your eyes. You tell yourself, “She won’t do it. She
doesn’t have the guts. She’s just here to teach me a lesson.” But you are so
wrong, honey! I sentence you to death for turning my life into a soap opera cliché—for
stepping on my dreams, for not giving a shit about me all those years, and for
lying to me, and betraying me, and humiliating me. I’m making an example out of
you for all the assholes out there who think that they can keep on fuckin’ us
over and over.

Goodbye, my love.