kwentuhan 2008

QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES — Despite increased security in Manila
in anticipation of the pro-Erap rallies, one small-time akyat-bahay gang
has managed to slip inside Anino Games’ Diliman studio, ransacking the
building’s 3rd floor and taking some of the employees’ belongings.

Jay Gavarra, one of the stay-in employees, was the first to discover the
incident.

"Gumising ako ng mga alas-sais y media para maligo nang mapansin ko na
nawawala yung Xbox ko sa tapat ng TV," he said. "Nang lumabas ako sa
veranda namin, nakita kong nakakalat yung gamit ng isa sa mga ka-opisina ko.
Dun ko nalaman na nanakawan kami."

Aside from the videogame system, Jay said that he also lost
a number of items. “Nawala rin yung wallet, relo, at cellphone ko. Pero iniwan
naman yung ATM tsaka yung signed picture ni Gina Pareño, kaya okey lang.”

According to the investigation, the thief entered the office
using the 3rd floor’s front door. After taking a relatively small number of
items, the thief then took off using the same entry point. Gil Grissom, a
senior investigator who flew directly from Las Vegas,
said that the thief is a bit behind the technology curve.

 
“The intruder is probably a 20-30 year old male who doesn’t
know anything about games,” Grissom said, pointing at the Xbox connectors left
hanging from the TV. “He probably knows a PlayStation, but an Xbox? I don’t
think so.”

Grossom also added that the intruder is most likely a
non-metrosexual male, indicating that an Anino employee’s makeup kit was
practically left at the scene of the crime. He said that the investigation will
continue nonstop until the culprit is caught, or when the next season of his
hit show CSI starts shooting.

INTERNATIONAL REACTION

 
World leaders from, well, around the world, have criticized
the government’s apparent lax in security in wake of recent tragedy.

 
“There are two things that I hate to the bones: global
warming and Jay Gavarra losing his Xbox,” said Al Gore in a taped message.

 

Thailand’s
Sonthi Boonyaratglin has assured the bemused employee that he will send over a
number of high profile military investigators to assist ongoing search for the
robber. The Pope also prayed for the immediate arrest of the said culprit in
his recent mass.

 
Oprah Winfrey has also sent words of encouragement to Gavarra.
“I refuse to believe that this… mockery of justice has managed to find its way
to you, Jay. I am deeply, deeply saddened by this turn of events.” She also
promised a $1 million donation, in which Gavarra refused, insisting that it
should be donated to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation instead.

 
“You have the purest of hearts,” Winfrey said in her
follow-up message.

 
Hotel-heiress and socialite Paris Hilton also sent a text
message to the young game developer. “What happened to you was, like, so
not hot.”

 
LIFE GOES ON

While Gavarra admitted that this recent event has shaken him
up a little, he believes that things will turn for the better before the end of
the year.

 
“This could be a sign that I really should buy that Wii, or
mag-uuwian na talaga ako ‘pag lumipat na sa  Makati. Pero at least may iba-blog ako ngayong September 13.”

:

Adik, tsong, adik.